I know who I am

Berlin!

I am going to Berlin 1st to 5th of May. Anyone that want to share any tips and advice what to do in Berlin?

Sad

I am feeling kind of low. At night I am having the most horrible nightmares. I guess it's the meds but I am not sure. I want to sleep like a baby. Sleep is essential to well being.

Sick of being Always sad. Sad and lonely. I've just joined an online dating site again for the fourth time. And that doesn't really make a difference. Not really just average dudes that does not interest me that much.

Sun, I miss you!

I have too Think really hard to remember when I last saw the sun. It's been so grey and dark for a long time now. I feel I am out od vitamin D. The best thing i could do would be to take a trip to a sunny place but i can't do that for many reasons most financial. I really look forward to spring and my upcoming 34th birthday. It is usually much lighter by then.

Music!

I have started collecting vinyl records. It's is truly a mixture between genres. But mostly rock, pop, punk and new wave. One that is truly used on my record player is a new order single - Confusion. It's a great one. And a also dig sixties pop/rock like mama´s and the papas and Jefferson airplane. I can sometime feel ashamed that my taste in music is not that sophisticated and that it is so mainstream in  gender and race aspects . Basically music made by white straight men. But I am working on it.

The dentist

Going to the dentist is expensive. I got a tooth extinguished yesterday and that costed me 900 sek. Just to pull out a god damn tooth. My teeth look better than the true condition of them. I should quit smoking.

Happy

I was in the psycheward for about a month. Nowadays being in a mental hospital is not like you picture it in your head with people painting the walls with scribblings or sitting in straitjackets all in a chatatonic state. No it's more like day care for adults with planned meals on certain hours and endless time in between walking those corridors.

I feel a lot better now I must say.

Welcome

Please show some consideration that my English is not perfect since I am from Sweden. A new aquaintance inspirered me to write in English. So here we go!

The first thing that concerns me most right now is that I should stop smoking cause it is truly a filthy habit. And it costs a lot of money too. But I enjoy it too much. Have you ever thought about how many things you do that are actually not so good for you? Like smoking, eating unheathy, drinking etc.  I Think most people know how to lead a healthy Lifestyle but they don't do it cause it would mean to much to sacrifice. Well i am overweight but i don't drink that much but I smoke. So I guess i should be dead much earlier than i should have if I would live healhier. So why do i not just quit smoking i try to lose some weight. I am working  on the part with weight. But smoke Tobacco i lik it too much.